Most of us know the basics of a standard love story: boy and girl meet, boy woos girl, girl and boy fall in love – then hark! Conflict! Separation! Followed by a path back to each other and/or resolution. Stories with rose-colored gestures are complete with beautiful background music at the end right when everything comes together.

In honor of our upcoming title Our Chemical Hearts – a story about finding yourself in heartbreak, we wanted to round up some of the ways to identify when you’re not actually in a love story. For those of you wondering –is this love? See below for ten signs the answer to your question is DEFINITELY NOT.

There is no extraordinary Meet-Cute (side note, a meet-cute is when a future couple meets for the first time in a way that is considered adorable)

There isn’t even a ‘meet’ of any kind (cute or not). That person you’ve had a secret crush on forever still doesn’t know you exist

Moments where you try for the ‘Makeover’ moment to win over a gentleman’s heart never quite come out like Hermione’s did

The person trying to win your heart did not give you a library to show their affection

Nor are they trying to woo you by interrupting your soccer practice with a well-rehearsed version of a classic song

Neither are they writing poetry at the sight of you on your balcony (and hopefully, neither are they stalking you in your backyard)

You and your beloved have never even been at the front of a boat together

There is no (seemingly) epic hurdle for you to overcome in your love

If there is conflict while dating your beau, they AREN’T making it up to you by standing outside your window with portable speakers playing your song in a romantic display of undying love

Your life didn’t cut to a wedding scene as soon as you and your significant finally got together

Good luck out there in love friends, and keep your wits about you.

Ready for a love story that’s not all hearts and rainbows? Preorder your copy of Our Chemical Hearts!