When I was given the green light to write Boying Up, I was thrilled and excited—for a few seconds. Then I completely panicked. How would I write this book!? While I am trained as a neuroscientist and spent 12 years of my life in school to get my degrees, my knowledge of the brain, nervous system and endocrine system seemed suddenly insufficient when I thought about the real-life nuts-and-bolts process by which boys become men.

As the mother of two sons—one of whom is entering the tween phase—I was reminded again and again as I wrote this book that, despite my degrees, helping my boys navigate this journey isn’t an easy task. Our culture’s expectations of what that journey should look like has long been insufficient to encompass all of the kinds of journeys boys will go on as they Boy Up. Especially now, when our society is recognizing the power inherent in being a boy and urging boys to use that power for good—to speak out for what’s right and help to empower girls and young women—things can feel even more complicated. This Boying Up stuff is hard!

Boying Up is a journey I can only observe from where I stand: as a scientist, as a mom and as a part of a culture that often gives conflicting directions about how to Boy Up. The challenges are myriad, and I don’t have all of the answers. What I hope you hav eseen in these pages is the kind of analysis I have chosen to participate in so that I can best support my boys as they enter manhood—and best support you, too, so that you grow into smart, thoughtful, bold, brave and brilliant men. I hope this book is a conversation starter for anyone who is a boy, was a boy or is helping love a boy into manhood.

Thank you for coming along on this journey with me.