A lot happened in “The Last of the Starks,” that’s for sure, and not all of it good. The show decided to reward many of its followers with some good old-fashioned fan service, but also revealed some of its persistent flaws. Since this week’s episode came right off the back of another crazy, zany, exhilarating #YALLWEST Book Festival, House Reichs is a bit worn out, so I’ll just hit the high (and low) notes.
- “And we shall never see their like again.” Man, that was one bummer of a mass funeral. But Ghost was back! And looking, well, pretty jacked up. I don’t think I’ve ever been madder at Jon Snow than when he didn’t go over and give Ghost a proper doggie tummy rub before sending him north with Tormund to live with the Free Folk (in order to lower the show’s CGI budget). Have these Winterfell kids learned nothing from watching this show? NEVER SEND YOUR DIREWOLF AWAY. ALWAYS LISTEN TO YOUR DIREWOLF’S INSTINCTS. I have a bad feeling about that decision. A really bad one.
- Lord Gendry of Storm’s End. Pretty nice! And well deserved, although I think my guy Podrick Payne got shafted out of at least a hill castle or something. But it wasn’t enough to get Arya to say yes to Gendry’s heartfelt marriage proposal. Remember, as far back as season one she’d said she would never be the Lady of a castle. “That’s not me.” Arya is still Arya, and remains the best and truest character in this series. Now she and the Hound are off to do some killin’ in King’s Landing, and that works just fine for me, thank you.
- Bran. Come on, kid. Smile. Emote. Laugh. It won’t kill you. (Right?)
- Getting tense in the succession. Daenerys is not loving the admiration Jon was getting from pretty much everyone, and asked him to please not tell anyone else that he’s really Aegon Targaryen, rightful heir to the Iron Throne. But Jon cannot stop Ned Starking and insisted on telling his sisters, who don’t happen to like Dany at all. Sansa held this secret for a hot five minutes before telling Tyrion, who told Varys, who already thinks they need to kill Dany in favor of Jon. WE OFFICIALLY HAVE A MESS. Which Dany had predicted and Jon failed to see, which means we’re all in character. This might end poorly.
- Ser to Ser. Brienne and Jaime finally got down to business, and we liked it. But then the producers made Brienne cry, and beg Jaime to stay away from Cersei and forget his manly pain, and we were reminded that Game of Thrones has persistent problems with some of its female portrayals. (And male ones, obviously – beyond the generalized patriarchal tone of the show, little details stick out. Tormund has morphed from funny and gregarious to just a straight-up weirdo creeper you’d desperately avoid at a cocktail party, and yet he was still rewarded with a pretty woman half his age. Not cool, guys.)
- Sansa is a stone cold badass. “He got what he deserved. I gave it to him.”
- Bronn. Future Lord of Highgarden. Sure, why not?
- Can we PLEASE learn some battle tactics?!? Dany was flying her dragons around with no thought to their strategic value or dangerous placement at the very front of her armada and lost Rhaegal to Qyburn’s giant arrow shooters. The Dragon Fleet was massacred by Euron Greyjoy. Missandei was taken prisoner. That all sucked and was totally preventable. Now, I’m not a fighting-wars-with-dragons scientist, but maybe fly a little higher, or scout ahead, or fly at night when those dangerous counter-weapons are useless? There is a recurring and troubling lack of battle acumen on the side of the Dragon Queen. It’s very frustrating.
- The death of Missandei. I will only say this: in addition to its treatment of women, there is a persistent failure on Game of Thrones to properly honor its characters of color. The death of Missandei—as a prop to stoke rage between Daenerys and Cersei—represents this failure perfectly. I encourage everyone reading this recap to go online and read the excellent posts on this subject written by people far more qualified than me to enunciate the issue. Thank you to Nathalie Emmanuel for her excellent performances on this show.
- 10. The coffee cup.
Two more episodes to go! How will the showrunners end this HBO saga? Is George R. R. Martin standing in applause at this moment, or gnashing his teeth as he continues to (not) write the final books? Only time will tell, but I have feeling we’re in for a wild ending.
Until next week, Dracarys.