It’s that time again! Get ready for BATTLE ROUND 4!

Last round we saw beloved Netflix movies battle it out, leaving TO ALL THE BOYS I’VE LOVED BEFORE as the last one standing.

Today, it’s Emily Wibberley vs. Rachel Hawkins. That means 10 THINGS I HATE ABOUT YOU vs. THE PRINCESS DIARIES!

How do you even choose?!

We’ll hear from Emily first!

10 Things I Hate About You

“‘Heinous bitch’ is the term used most often.’” With this one line from guidance counselor Ms. Perky, 10 Things I Hate About You proves why it had to be my choice for PenguinTeen March Movie Madness.

Why? Because this wonderful introduction for our heroine Kat goes to the heart of what distinguishes 10 Things from other romantic comedies and teen dramas. Unlike romances centered on cute, plucky, well-intentioned characters, 10 Things finds love for the person we’re taught to hate—the bitch. In writing Kat’s love story, 10 Things reminds us there’s love out there even for those of us who don’t behave or look like “typical” rom-com heroines and heroes.

What a love story it is, too. Who thought paintball could be romantic before Kat and Patrick opened our eyes? Who’s ever read a love poem quite like the one Kat recites? Not to mention the most Epic Romantic Gesture EVER. With his football-stadium performance, Heath Ledger captured the heart of… pretty much the entire world.

Then there’s Kat herself. Kat reimagines the teen-movie bitch (hello, Regina George) into a Riot Grrrl feminist with on-point Bikini Kill and Sylvia Plath recommendations who finds love without compromising who she is. Julia Stiles’ iconic character reminds us not to reject outspoken “bitches” in life or in movies (and she immortalized the term “screw-boy,” which is glorious in itself). What’s more, she doesn’t need a makeover—or a coronation—to find her happy ending.

I could go on, I really could. From the cast to the clever reworking of Taming of the Shrew, I couldn’t count the list of reasons I love this movie. But I know one thing for certain—it’s way longer than 10 things.

Now, for Lady Hawkins!

Honestly, when it comes to pleading a case for The Princess Diaries as The Best Teen Movie Ever, I feel like I should be able to just type out MAKEOVER MONTAGE in giant font, and leave it at that. In fact, let’s give that a shot.

MAKEOVER MONTAGE 

There, done, I win!!!

Wait, y’all need more?

OKAY, FAIR ENOUGH.

Not only does The Princess Diaries have a killer makeover montage (MAKEOVER MONTAGE), it also has all the hallmarks of any good classic teen movie.

• A charmingly dorky heroine
• GIRLS WHO ARE FRIENDS (I’d never forget Lily!)
• An all-time favorite trope, Got A Crush On My BFF’s Brother
• Family Angst
• A BIG DANCE (well, ball in this case, you know, because PRINCESS.)
• Lovable Animal Sidekick (Fat Louie 4Life.)

The Princess Diaries is A Perfect Movie because it has all those good, glam, FUN things we love in an excellent fictional escape- you’re secretly a princess! You get to go to a new country! Julie Andrews is your grandmother! There are tiaras! You kiss a cute boy and your foot pops!

But it’s a perfect teen movie because in the midst of all that sparkle and glitter is a story with real heart. Mia Thermopolis is just trying to figure herself out, like millions of other teenagers. She may be doing it on a bigger stage than most, but we can all identify with trying to find our place and our voice, and in the end, Mia does that beautifully, deciding to accept her role as a princess not just for the perks, but for the good she can do. Crowns, MAKEOVER MONTAGE, cute boys, an excellent cat, AND a fabulous feminist message? The Princess Diaries is (the) Practically Perfect (teen movie) in every way.

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